My Nose Savior: Smith’s Minted Rose Lip Balm
Don’t let the “lip balm” part fool ya. I don’t even use this stuff on my lips! While this stuff is good on the lips (makes them soft, shiny, and it tingles a little), it’s also good everywhere else. I read somewhere this was originally formulated for diaper rash and chapped nipples from breast feeding (ha, you’re welcome for all of that rich imagery) (also, don’t google that). Since I don’t have a baby or chapped nips, I put this shit on my hands and cuticles to make them extra soft. I’m not a germaphobe, but working with people who are does rub off on you.
I tend to overuse hand sanitizer and Lysol wipes while I’m locked in my cubicle. I mean, keyboards, laptops, the mouse, phone, and countless other surfaces are just breeding grounds for some really foul shit. This all takes a toll on your hands since all of that disinfectant is really drying. I keep a tin of this stuff at my desk to rub on the my hands a few times a week. I get it all over too, rubbing it into my nails, pushing back my cuticles, and slathering it all over my palms. This also gives me an excuse to get up and get out while it all soaks into my skin. It leaves you with baby-butt-soft hands and keeps you from having those horrifying cuticles you see in nail art posts on Instagram and Pintrest. (Sidenote: SERIOUSLY LADIES?! You’re going to take the time to do fucking nail art but you’re going to neglect your chewed up nails and war-torn cuticles? No. Abso-fucking-lutely not.)
You know what else this stuff is good for? Your nose. Hear me out. Ever since a toddler coughed directly in my mouth over the weekend and gave me a cold, I have been a-snifflin’ and a-sneezin’ my ass off. You can only blow and wipe your nose so many times before your nose has had enough and turns you into a less cute version of Rudolph the Snotty-Nosed Reindeer. That picture is pretty much an accurate portrayal of me at the moment.
Let’s be graphic for a second. The nose of someone who is forced to abuse tissues is a disgusting specimen. It’s red, inflamed, dry, flaky, and sometimes, more painful to look at than it is to endure. You know what makes it feel better? Rubbing Smith’s Minted Rose Lip Balm on it. A little dab of this balm around the nostrils and on the tip of the nose, make the constant sneezing and blowing and wiping less of a hardship. It saves you from the awful flakes of dry skin that seems to pile up on the outside of the nose as it moisturizes and soothes. Plus, subsequent nose wipings and blowings are a little less traumatic since the balm is a nice buffer.
One tin lasts much longer than you would expect. Even so, stock up now before the inevitable months of close quarters encounters and the resulting colds and flus. A-CHOO!